Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Everything we have been taught about Bullies through the ages is wrong. Every Psychologist, every Teacher, anyone who has been asked to explain why Bullies bully is wrong.
Now I have always believed what the above people taught us about Bullies, until a few years ago when I read a brilliant article in Slate magazine, written by an FBI agent, who said we must forget all we have been told about why Bullies, bully.
I wish I still had link, but I try and sum up his main points.
First, Bullies don't have above normal intelligent, this was thought up by some Child Psychologist, thinking if we can increase the self esteem of Bullies, they wont bully anymore.
Secondly, they don't have low self esteem, quite the opposite, they normally have an over the top belief of their own self worth, and cannot believe they would be put in situations where they have to be in a group of people they deemed beneath them.
Bullies don't come from poor backgrounds, they come from wealthy families and have a distrust of people who aren't in their own circle.
Bullies don't want to be loved, they don't give a flying fraggle want people think of them, because they are caught up in their own little world.
The big problem according to this FBI agent, is there is no changing their behaviour, no matter how hard society tries, the only thing that can be done is to stop the misinformation, stop trying to inflate their already massive ego's by telling them they are bright, funny and a great person, and the very last thing you should do is give them a reality TV show.
My theory is, forget about the bullies and worry about the victim, all these teachers and child Psychologists should spend their time and effort into helping the victims.
Unfortunately in today's society it's the other way around.